wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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