You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
