No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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