We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
