yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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