i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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