So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
