Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
