Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
