i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
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Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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