Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Enjoy the penises
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Randomize
