I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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