LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
