I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
