you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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