i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
