drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
