Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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