If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
