So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
