Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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