In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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