so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
