Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize