Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
