What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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