I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
