Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
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He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
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I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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