): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
