you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
she looked like the before picture.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize