Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
