Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
