i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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