Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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