This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
