Joe is yelling at the trees again.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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