I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
where am i from again
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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