Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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