i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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