Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
