Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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