Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
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I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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