You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
