Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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