he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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