some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
