Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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