remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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