he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
