you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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