im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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