I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm bleeding and have questions
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
