i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
