I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
