I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
