please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
