i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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