Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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