Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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