There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
