looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
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