He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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