Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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